3 Important Steps Toward Surviving Emotional Affairs

In the wake of emotional affairs, saving your marriage, even if you are going at it alone, is worth the time, energy, and commitment. Nothing can be more hurtful than a spouse who does not share your commitment to strengthening your relationship, and perhaps your partner is not capable at this point of putting in the effort to salvage the marriage. Do not lose hope, because there are ways of surviving emotional affairs and of working toward saving the relationship on your own.

Saving a marriage that is in crisis from emotional affairs is not an easy task, especially when one partner is not committed to the process. There is no way to force a spouse to be cooperative, and you cannot dictate your spouse's actions. Maybe your partner has lost hope that the relationship can be saved and is therefore reluctant to invest energy. The only thing that you can control is your own commitment to the marriage and the actions that you choose to take.

If you find that you are by yourself in working toward surviving emotional affairs and trying to salvage your relationship with your spouse, there are steps that you can take to make progress on your own.

Step One: Deepen Your Own Commitment

Despite whatever efforts are not being made by your spouse in working to save your marriage, you can strengthen your own commitment to the process. You may feel that you have already been giving everything you have, but if you want to save your relationship, this is the time when you may have to dig even deeper to find a well of strength that will allow you to give even more.

You are the only one who can decide what your relationship is worth to you. Only you can decide what lengths you will go to in order to save it. Making the decision and resolving to be fully committed to saving your marriage in the aftermath of emotional cheating can lead you to feel a sense of strength and empowerment.

Step Two: Be a Best Friend

As relationships age, many couples find that their roles with one another change from being supportive to becoming more adversarial. When you are down, you look for a friend who will be supportive, and though it is not the right solution to the problem, sometimes that can lead to emotional affairs. It is easy to forget that you and your spouse need to have a friend in one another.

Still, you can control only your actions and not those of your spouse. This is an opportunity to lead by example. By choosing to speak and interact in positive ways with your partner, you may be the seed of change that will inspire like action. Your spouse may see your positive changes and want to have that experience as well. By choosing a friendlier approach, you can create a trusting environment where your spouse may be able to envision improvement.

Step Three: Work on Yourself

Here is a big question: How do you give everything you have to your relationship and still have time for you? In order to give your best in a relationship, you need to be your best self. This requires you to be nurturing toward yourself as well as in terms of what you give. Healthy relationships, even after emotional affairs, are formed with healthy partners.

Often, couples can become less supportive and more adversarial because of resentment. You may feel that you have given up so much to the relationship that there is nothing left to give yourself. Do not underestimate the importance of setting aside time just for you. Allow yourself the opportunity to examine your thoughts and emotions. Give yourself permission and time to work through your own internal struggles, because surviving emotional affairs is not a quick or simple task. Throughout the process, be mindful of your own hopes and dreams, and try to nurture them.

It may be hard to know just what to do and where to begin when you find yourself alone in trying to save a marriage from emotional cheating. By investing your time and energy in these steps, you will be taking control of both commitment and actions that are within your power. You may choose to offer positivity to your relationship as you become empowered to make healthy and loving choices for yourself and your marriage.