Tuesday, April 19, 2011

How Long Does The Average Extramarital Affair Last? How Can I Make My Husband End His More Quickly?



I recently heard from a wife who was trying to determine the average life span of an affair. Her husband was currently cheating with a coworker. The wife had recently found out about this and demanded that it immediately stop. The husband insisted that he was sorry and still loved his wife. However, he just could not seem willing to let the other woman go. He told his wife that he just felt the need to see where the whole thing lead before he made any lasting decisions.

Needless to say, this was not what the wife wanted to hear. But in her heart, she felt that once the husband finally ended the affair, they could begin working on their marriage and picking up the pieces. She was very clear on the fact that she wasn't ready to let her marriage (or her husband) go.

She asked me in part "how long can you expect the average extramarital affair to last. I know the answer varies because my aunt's husband had the same mistress for over 20 years and my best friend's husband had a one night stand. But, what is the average? Do affairs generally end quickly?"

The person asking this question was right. The amount of time that an affair goes on can certainly vary based on many factors like how long before someone else finds out, how the relationship is progressing, and how each person really feels about the other. However, I was able to find some information on the average life span of an affair, which I will discuss in the following article.

Unfortunately, Statistics Show That Many Affairs Last For Quite A Long Time: I know that this wife was hoping that I was going to tell her that the average affair lasts for less than a month. This is possible, of course, but here's what the statistics that I found in several places show. Around 50 percent of affairs last for longer than a month but less than a year. I realize this is not all that specific. With this statistic, you could be looking at anywhere from 5 weeks to almost 12 months and anywhere in between. So what this really tells you is that it's not uncommon for an affair to last for months.

Jumping to the next applicable statistics I could find, my research indicates that 40 percent of affairs last two or more years. So where does the last ten percent come from? Well, ten percent last a day or less (these are the one night stands.) And the last ten percent last more than a day but less than a month.

As you can likely see, these numbers indicate a wide range of very short and long term relationships. But it's clear that a good number of affairs can last several months or even years. And I think the time frame (at least in part) depends on the factors like how long it takes before the affair is caught and monitored. Because if the relationship has a chance to take hold, it can be harder for the spouse who is being cheated on to get a handle on it before the cheating spouse believes that they have real feelings for are "in love with" the other person.

Things To Think About When You Want Your Spouse To End The Affair Quickly. (Walking The Line Between Pushing Your Spouse Toward The Other Person And Pulling Them Away:) This wife had an advantage even if she did not realize it. She had learned about her husband's affair shortly after it began to happen. The affair had been going on for about three weeks. Now, the husband believed he could have something "real" and lasting with this other woman. He was in that infatuation stage where he thought that the other woman had something special.

But, the wife did still have a presence in her husband's life. His reaction and his actions seemed to indicate that he was still somewhat invested in the marriage. The wife's next step was going to be to try to make the husband end the affair without pushing so hard that he pulled away from her instead.

The thing is, if the other person is presented as something that is off limits or forbidden, it is sometimes human nature to want the forbidden thing that much more. And frankly, the husband saw this person at work on a daily basis. That was another issue to consider.

My suggestion for her was to place herself in the best position possible. As hard as it would be, I suggested telling him that it was very obvious he had some struggles that he needed to work out, but that she couldn't interact with him romantically if he was with someone else either emotionally or physically. She could still stress that she was open to working things out once he made a decision. In this way, she wasn't alienating herself from him or allowing him to paint her in a negative light (which would only push him more toward the other woman.)

Suggested Discussion: Of course, every one should take into account their own situation and the personality of their spouse. But in this situation, I would suggest saying something like "It goes without saying that in order for our marriage to work, you need to end this affair and work with me on our marriage. It seems as if you are not prepared to do that right now. It probably wouldn't help for me to give you an ultimatum or point out how wrong I feel you truly are. But, when you come to a decision, I'm willing to talk about this. Until then, I have to place the focus on myself and what I need."

I know that this is a tough call and I know that some will point out the risk in this strategy. However, time and time again, I've seen wives give ultimatums or demand that he end the affair and what sometimes happens is that he only wants the other woman more as the result or he tells the wife he has ended the affair and then lies because he really hasn't.

It usually works out better when the husband decides to end the affair on his own. And I believe the above discussion or something similar gives you the best chance of this happening.



23 comments:

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janny crocket said...

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clad hagel said...

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IN CASE YOU ARE PASSING THROUGH SIMILAR PROBLEM, AND YOU NEED DR OSAZE ASSISTANCE, YOU CAN CALL OR WHATSAP HIM ON +2347089275769 OR +18565020158 EMAIL DROSAZE39@GMAIL.COM

brendaharri77@gmail.com said...

Hello I'm From Memphis Tennessee, USA I feel so joyful today because of the help Dr Sunny has rendered to me for getting my Husband back with his spell. I have been married for 4 years and it has been so terrible because my husband was cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce. But when i came across Dr Sunny Email, on the internet posted by a lady, i decided to get in touch with him and i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case for there is no problem without a solution. Here i am celebrating because my Husband is back home and am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr Sunny is truly a real spell caster. Why not contact Dr Sunny now if you are facing any challenges in your relationship life. Email (solutioncentre911@gmail.com) Also specialize i1) love Spell
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Bayer Honna said...

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Rita Natasha said...

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Hanna Rosin said...

HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
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Donna said...

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Am DONNA, am from UK. After been in a relationship with my Boyfriend for 1 year now and we were planning to get married soon and all of a sudden he left me for another girl. of a truth, I really love this guy and never can I imagine life without him. I further tried all my best to get him back but all my effort to get him back in my life did not work out. It was on this faithful day, I came across some Testimonies on a website about this great spell caster called (Dr. UNEME) any persons claimed that he help them to renew their relationship and bring their ex lover back, I had to contact him because he was my last hope. I contacted him through his email and he assured me that in three days time my boyfriend is going to leave the other girl and come back to me and it was a very great surprise to see my boyfriend coming back to me after three days the spell was done. I am so very happy today that he came back to me and i achieved this with the help of Dr UNEME I equally want to use this opportunity to Tell/Advice to as many who need their ex back, if you need his help you can Contact him through
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Thank You Once Again Dr.UNEME

laura said...

i want to share this great testimony and say a big Thank to Dr okeke for what he have done for me! with his spell am laura from USA my family is back My husband has come back home with the help of okeke and now my husband has stopped to fill the divorce papers after i contacted Dr okeke to help me stop the divorce with my husband and now things are going much better now. As Dr okeke said, all the process concerning the divorce have been cancelled and the evil woman that cause the problem in my marriage has be sent away by my husband and we are now happy together. i said it better for me to share this good news with everyone here I will advice if you are passing any problem in your marriage or relationship reach Dr okeke his the solution to your problem and predicament Thank you okeke for your help reach him on email at (writelovespell@gmail.com) or chat him on WhatsApp on (+2348140443360) he can also help you with the following problem
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Elizabeth Wong said...

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Hanna Rosin said...

HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
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Anonymous said...

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Joan said...

This is my testimony that i will tell everyone to hear i have been married for 3 years and on the 4 years of my marriage another woman had a spell to take my husband away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 1 year and 6 months until i meant a post where this man Dr OSAYI have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my love husband home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 3 days as he have told me i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self His email (osayisolutionspellhome@gmail.com ) or call or WhatsApp him ( +2348051843752 ) he can also help on and cures:-
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Unknown said...

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Whatsapp/cal +2348133873774

Clara Hall said...

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Melissa Gail said...

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Mary Gab said...

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Unknown said...

hello everyone reading this, i want to thank dr marsu for his good work in my life, i was married for 4 years and all of as sudden i had a little augment with my husband that lead to divorce, i was surprise and so weak i couldn't think of what to do i cried all day till my friend told me about dr marsu i gave a try and after 48 hours my husband called me and ask for forgiveness. i am happily married with children now, i want every one that need his help kindly mail him (drmarsuofficial@gmail.com) or WhatsApp `+2348143813120

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