My Wife Talks To Her Old Boyfriend On A Cell Phone - Your Next 3 Moves

Relationships are one of the hardest - and yet most rewarding - things that we humans can be a part of. This is just as true of romantic relationships as it is of friendships and family relationships.

Marriages are especially tough because you are supposed to be married to this person for the rest of your life. There is a certain sense of finality to marriage that makes us want to work hard to make things work. At the same time, when things are not going as well as we would like in our marriage, it is easy to start to feel trapped and frustrated.

One of the most frustrating things that can happen to a married man is if you find out that your wife is making contact with her old boyfriend. It may not be an affair, but maybe they are talking on the phone or texting each other. Either way, you obviously will want to nip this situation in the bud as quickly as you can.

If you are saying, "My wife talks to her old boyfriend on her cell phone," here are the 3 next moves you should take:

1. Take your time to get your facts straight:

Naturally, if you have discovered that your wife is talking to her ex-boyfriend on the cell phone, you are probably feeling a mixture of different feelings. Feelings of anger, sadness, jealousy, and hurt would not be out of the question. And, no doubt there is a dose of curiosity thrown in for good measure. With all of these emotions running around inside you, your first reaction may be to want to confront your wife about it. Don't - at least not yet.

First, you need to take a step back from the situation and get your facts straight. If you are wrong or if you are reading too much into the situation and there is nothing really going on - you could end up looking like a fool if you fly off the handle. Instead, take your time to observe your wife for a while and see if you have evidence that her behavior is continuing.

2. Casually bring up your concerns to your wife:

One you have given yourself a bit of emotional distance from the situation and you have your facts straight, it is time to casually bring up your thoughts and feelings to your wife. Make sure to avoid any type of language that makes it sound like you are accusing her of doing anything wrong. Instead, just tell her that you are aware of one or more times when she has spoken to her old boyfriend on the phone and that it raised your eyebrows a bit. Then, just sit back and see what she says. Her reaction will speak volumes.

3. Tell her what you are comfortable with in terms of contact with her old boyfriend:

Your wife may get defensive when you share your observations with her. Or, she could end up agreeing with you that her behavior was not appropriate. Then again, she could just say that she has no feelings for him but just likes him as a friend. In any event, it is important that you make it very clear to your wife just how you feel about the situation and what you are comfortable with. Can she ever talk to him again? Maybe just once in a while? Every day? You let her know what type of behavior you are comfortable with and ask her if she can agree to your terms.

Once you are back on the same page with your wife about this ex-boyfriend situation, it is time to work on a plan to fix your relationship. You need to rebuild the trust and closeness that you need if you are to survive as a happily-married couple.