Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Recovering From Infidelity - How Will You Handle The Affair Details?



If your marriage has been rocked by an affair then recovering from infidelity can seem difficult. I want to reassure you it can be done. Let's figure out together where you should begin.

It doesn't seem to matter how much time passes since you discovered the affair, the negative thoughts and emotions keep swirling inside you. You wonder why you weren't good enough? What about you made your spouse turn to someone else?

The human mind is great for a lot of things, but it can be your worst enemy during the aftermath of the affair. If you don't know every detail about the affair, your mind can certainly help you by creating images that seem to haunt you.

Soon your thoughts are all consumed by these negative thoughts, you can't sleep and your daily activity is affected. It's time to put a stop to the "created" images and address the real issues.

Figuring out how to cope with the affair details is crucial to recovering from infidelity and this is where you should begin. How would you like to handle the details?

Maybe you don't want to know all of the details, just some important ones, such as how long or how often the meetings occurred. Or maybe you want to know every bit of information you can get your hands on.

Recovering from infidelity does not depend on you as the victim knowing every detail, it depends on what you FEEL you need to know in order to move on.

If your spouse is committed to recovering from infidelity, then they won't object if you present them with the questions you absolutely need answered.

Start by compiling a list of 20 questions. Then weigh in on them by yourself and see how important the answers mean to you. What will the outcome to each question do for you? I recommend choosing only questions you feel will help you recover from the infidelity. Be prepared, hearing some of the answers will not be easy. That is why it's important to make sure you want to hear them.

By writing your questions you will know what details are important to your personal recovering from infidelity. Set guidelines for your questions and if you feel enough is enough, then it is.

If at the end of this soul-searching experience you figure out you don't want to know any further details, then you have taken a big step in recovering from infidelity. You have satisfied the need to know by taking control. Now you are ready to take on the next challenges for recovering from infidelity.



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