The Struggle to Forgive Yourself for Cheating on Her

Struggling to forgive yourself for cheating? The very first thing you should realize is that you are not alone. There are a countless number of men struggling to find forgiveness that range from a one time incident to a history of serial cheating. While your indiscretions may vary in severity, rarely do they differ in consequence. Complicating a man's inability to attain the type of forgiveness that may help them achieve an honest, trusting, and loving relationship with their spouse is the guilt.

The largest obstacle that does not allow you to forgive yourself for cheating is the likelihood that you have attempted to forgive and forget far too fast. Your feelings of guilt exist for a reason. When this occurs it prevents any possibility of legitimate understanding of why you have cheated, and makes it impossible to comprehend the reasons for your actions. In addition, and most importantly, you add insult to injury to your partner's legitimate feelings of pain and suffering.

Disallowing a reasonable amount of time to pass before making the choice to forgive yourself for cheating may also lead to repeat offences of indiscretions. This tendency has lead well-known phrases such as, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Forgiveness is much more complicated than simply saying, "I'm sorry, it will never happen again." There are significant undercurrents that create each and every cheating opportunity, and they must be acknowledged.

This might explain the inability of most couples to successfully overcome the extreme turbulence that can rock the strongest of relationships.

Some of the most common myths that prevent you from having the ability to forgive yourself for cheating are:

• Believing that letting yourself off the hook is self-forgiveness


• Forgiving yourself for cheating in order to have the upper hand in the relationship


• Simply forgiving yourself so you can repeat poor patterns of behavior


• Thinking that forgiveness and forgetting are the same thing


• Using self-forgiveness as a safety net for future indiscretions

The truth behind self-forgiveness is found in your ability to remember and embrace past mistakes. Accepting your own fallibility is essential during a quest to forgive yourself for cheating. Such acceptance does not come easily or quickly. There is often a moment of self-realization that leads to internal character change.

If you are fortunate enough to recognize this, you may be able to work through the pain that your partner has felt and move forward in a successful relationship. While the overall track record may not be very good, if there is any hope for change, it is vital that you forgive yourself for cheating effectively.