Survive the Addiction: End the Affair

For some of us ending an affair usually means giving up the fun. Like with most addictions giving up on the immediate satisfaction is very difficult and painful to accept. An affair can boost self esteem, rejuvenate and give us the sense of fulfillment that we look for in a relationship. Similar to an adrenaline rush, the affair can give us energy and a false sense of happiness. The problem is that all these feeling are related to a make believe reality that does not exist. Most people that are having an affair still have to go home to a spouse or significant other and create a fa�ade to hide what is going on.

It is very important though, that we recognize the destructive cycle that leads to the affair in order to avoid future relapses. Lack of communication, withdrawal, and low self-esteem followed by gratification with another partner can create a cycle that is hard to break. Recovering from any addiction can be a lot easier if the drug of choice is not available or the person we are cheating with is not around to fulfill the immediate need.

The next step is to end the affair promptly. This might sound harsh but in order to be successful it is necessary to cut all ties with your partner in the affair. Putting it off will only cause trouble and hurt. It gets harder to break the affair if we have stronger emotions to deal with. Also important is to not give hope of any future contact. Short, simple and straight to the point is the recipe for success here.

Ending an affair is never easy but there is help for those who want to move on. It is actually very rewarding to realize that we are strong enough to take control of our lives and that we can recover from painful and addictive behavior. The end of an affair can mean the beginning of a new life, the opportunity to make things better. Although affairs leave us with the sense of instant gratification, fulfillment comes from real goals. Rebuilding the relationship with a spouse will ultimately give us the tools to live a satisfying reality that can be reflected in everything that we do. We can finally find the balance within ourselves that defines who we really are without having to hide and pretend what we are not.