How Do You End An Affair? Practical Advice For A Sensitive Situation

Ending an affair is kind of like quitting smoking; you know that the affair is bad for the health of your marriage and you know you'll be better off once you quit but like any pleasure giving indulgence it's hard just to walk away from.

Once you've made the decision to end the affair and save your marriage then you need to act quickly. Your spouse will undoubtedly be hurt and angry when you come clean. Getting back your stock of trust in the relationship will be a slow process. A good start to that process is to involve your partner in the break up with your ex lover, show them you are sincere and keep your actions transparent. Do not under any circumstance be coerced into meeting with your ex lover in private especially alone at their place. Remember they have an emotional investment as well and they may not be as keen to let go as you are. So keep some distance.

The best and safest way to let your lover go will be to phone, email or send a letter by regular mail. This is where you can get your partner involved; show them the letter or email before you send it or let them listen in if on the phone. Another way would be to just break all contact with your lover but that would leave them with questions and no closure, which would be a good reason for them to keep trying to get in touch with you.

If they do try to contact you after having broken up then always tell your spouse about it. Show your spouse any emails or texts you receive, let them listen to any voice mail too. Be open and honest with your spouse, let them know you are working to get your marriage back on track.

When contacting your lover to break up keep to the point, you don't have to explain yourself in depth. Just let them know it's over and that you are recommitting to your spouse/marriage. If you do it over the phone don't get caught up in justifying yourself, be committed to your decision and once they get what's happening get off the phone. Again remember; do not agree to meet with them in person. If your lover is not as willing to let go then they will be ready to fight for what they want. Having one last "Tango" for old times sake is like having just one last cigarette. When you realize it's time to quit. Do it and don't look back.

So, how do you end an affair? Quickly, decidedly and openly. Good Luck.