Thursday, April 21, 2011

My Husband Cheated on Me - Rebuild Trust After an Affair



"My Husband Cheated on Me" is a horrifying realization.

Marriage is one of the most powerful bonds two people can experience, based on mutual love, trust, respect, and passion. But love is hard, and marriage doubly so, especially in a world consumed with the idea that everything should be instantly easy.

Not to mention the fact that everywhere you look, you see books, movies, TV shows and advertising that does more to draw couples apart than pull them together. Ever seen the show Desperate Housewives or a tabloid that screams "My Husband Cheated on Me!" With all of these forces conspiring against a monogamous relationship, and the difficult nature of marriage itself, infidelity happens.

It's not right, and it's not okay. If your husband cheated on you, whether or not you want to salvage your marriage or let it go is completely up to you. But if you decide to try salving it, one of the first questions you might have is " How do I get over this emotionally?"

That's a good question, one that thousands of women have struggled with. Some want to move on and never hear about the affair again, while others feel like they need to hear the details, if for no other reason than to see if their husband will be totally honest with them. If this second type sounds like you, then your next question might be "My husband cheated on me. How do I get him to tell the truth about it?"

The problem is that you can't force the truth out of someone, no matter how hard you try. But you can open the lines of communication with your husband by being honest yourself. Talk to him about how the affair made you feel, and explain why you need to know about it. Explain that your trust in him has been deeply damaged, and that to begin rebuilding that trust you need to know that he can be honest with you, even about the hardest thing your marriage has ever faced. Say to him "My husband cheated on me, and I'm hurt. I need you to answer my questions, so that I can learn to trust you again."

Now ask your questions; just be sure not to ask any questions you don't want to know the answer to. And avoid questions that compare you to "her"; they'll only create more pain and jealousy, and don't serve the healing process.

It's a good idea to script the questions out, either in your head or on paper, so that you can remain clear headed when talking with your husband. Ask him to only answer your questions, and remind him that you aren't accusing or judging, only trying to begin rebuilding your trust in him. After the conversation, if your husband was honest, tell yourself "My husband cheated on me. Now he is being honest. Can I move on?". The answer to that will determine where your marriage goes from there.



1 comments:

Unknown said...

I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via email(worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) or Text/call : +12317945543

Post a Comment