Re-Establishing Trust in Marriage After an Affair

Have you had an affair? Does your spouse know about it? Do you still love your spouse, but struggle with regaining trust after an affair? These are very difficult questions to answer when the truthful answer is yes. It can be extremely difficult for a betrayed spouse to trust after discovering infidelity. If your spouse is willing to stay with you and try to work out the relationship, you are about five thousand steps ahead.

After an affair, regaining trust requires some tough sacrifices. The first thing to do is stop cheating. Infidelity in marriage is unacceptable. In order to regain trust after an affair, it may be necessary to volunteer information you never thought about before. Giving your spouse access to e-mail, texts, and other private information is going to be a given. Expect them to check it. They do not trust you, and you will have to be willing to deal with what it takes to convince them that you will stop cheating. It may take a very long time.

Another sacrifice may be a willingness to answer seemingly offensive questions. Remember, they have good reason to ask certain questions, and a willingness to answer them and prove the answers if asked can go a long way toward rebuilding trust. They may not believe that you will stop cheating right away. The best way to prove this and limit suspicion is to cut all ties with the other person involved in the affair. Try not to get offensive when these issues come up, as they are part of the sacrifice required to rebuild trust.

Lastly, remember that the other person has to truly be willing to try to trust you again. If they do not seem to be trying, despite your willingness to do whatever it takes, it may be time to cut your losses. This situation is not good for anyone. However, if your spouse is truly willing and is dealing with the issue of trust, stick it out and be willing to do whatever necessary to make them feel more at ease.