Thursday, April 21, 2011

Relationship After Cheating: Why You Don't Want Your Marriage to Be the Same As Before the Affair



If you are hoping to save your relationship after cheating has occurred then you may be surprised to hear that you should make sure that your marriage is NEVER the same again.

"But I want my marriage to go back to how it was before the affair, when we were happy!" I hear you cry.

Are you sure?

After all, the state your marriage was in before the affair lead to the infidelity. That does not mean it was your fault. But I do think that if you want to save you relationship after cheating then you must think about what kind of marriage you want to create in the future.

After all this is a fresh start right?

Don't romanticise about how you wonderful you relationship was when you first met up as that is ignoring how your marriage has been in more recent years or months and what ultimately lead to the affair.

Don't look at the past. The affair happened and you cannot turn back the clock and stop it happening. You also can't pretend that it didn't happen.

You will never forget the affair - that's a fact. Your relationship after cheating will never be the same again.

But you CAN move forward so that the affair doesn't haunt you as it does now. And you can work on creating a marriage that is actually better than it has ever been before.

I bet you are thinking "How can my marriage be 'better' than it was before my husband had an affair?!"

When you are still hurting, angry and in emotional pain that must seem like a total impossibility to improve your relationship after cheating

But I assure you there is hope.

There are many couples who have worked hard and successfully saved their marriage after an affair. They now enjoy a marriage that is 'affair proof' and are very happy.

To make your marriage better then it has ever been you both need to work together through a step-by-step process on healing your marriage.

For a start... and this is a biggie...you need LOVE and you need to treat each other as friends and not enemies. You both need to commit to making the marriage better and this involves hard work and dedication from both husband and wife.

You also need expert knowledge... after all most of us are not expert psychologists so how on earth are we supposed to know how to fix our marriages? So we need the right knowledge to ensure we don't make mistakes and damage the relationship further.



1 comments:

Unknown said...

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