Emotional Infidelity - Is It Harmless?

Is there something called emotional infidelity and is this different from what is normally understood as infidelity. The answer to the first question is a firm 'yes' and the answer to the second question is a resounding 'NO!'

We often find some emotional chords striking between us and others. It happens that while you don't find this happening with your spouse often, this readily happens with a third person. Since human beings are creatures ruled by emotions, it is very likely that an emotional harmony between two persons eventually blossoms into a kind of relationship. The people concerned will quickly cover this up as nothing more than empathy or a case of identical feelings on some issues. They start doing this initially to delude themselves that this kind of an attachment will not develop into a serious relationship. But unfortunately it does turn into a physical relationship often culminating in a sexual relationship as well. If this is not a case of infidelity or affair, what is it then?

Well, it is possible that an emotional infidelity does not end up in a sexual relationship. This may happen for several reasons. The two people concerned may be cautious to see that the "sanctity" of their relationship is not vitiated by sexual contact. They might not have got an opportunity. They may be afraid of the stigma a sexual infidelity may cause and its consequences. Or each person may think that the other person will instantly resent any suggestion of sexual contact and terminate the relationship. The reason for my listing the causes is that in the absence of these factors, there is always the possibility of a sexual infidelity. And this is the real danger of emotional infidelity.

Even if the infidelity is purely emotional, will it be free from the evils associated with other kinds of infidelity? Emotional attachment to someone means that you care for that person. Well, you may argue that after all you care for your spouse as well. This may be true. But when you have an emotional attachment to a third person, you are likely to care for that person more than you would for your spouse. This is because you are away from the other person for a major part of your time. Being away from someone to whom you have some attachment will invariably lead to the attachment becoming stronger. If it turns out to be stronger than your attachment for your partner, it is clear that you have stepped into the sensitive area of infidelity.