Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Love Him But Don't Trust Him? - Learn How To Survive the Affair



You may be struggling with your marriage after being cheated upon. The main challenge is how to survive the affair and continue in the marriage. These hurdles are for both partners to overcome together. Step by step the relationship can get back on track again. But before you start putting in an effort into the relationship, talk to your husband and make sure he is ready to do the same. It takes two to build a healthy relationship and both you and your husband have to put in the required time and effort.

Love him but Don't trust Him

Women often make the mistake of trusting their husbands blindly even after the affair, in the hopes of rebuilding their relationship. Although an extra effort may be required in the relationship, it is not advisable to place complete trust in your man. If you have questions or doubts about his whereabouts, ask him about it. This is the time to openly communicate with your husband and tell him what you need from him. Set a designated time to talk about your fears and needs so that your husband knows what is expected of him.

Give yourself and your husband some time

If you are wondering how to survive the affair and how long the pain will last, know that you cannot set definite timelines for rebuilding trust in your relationship. You have to give it some time to work. Rebuilding trust in your husband may take weeks, months or even years, but you have to allow yourself that time to heal and move forward.

Do not be paranoid

Although it is essential to be vigilant about the whereabouts of your husband, don't spy on him all the time. Paranoia will only drive him further away from you, and drive you crazy in the meantime. If your husband is committed to rebuilding your marriage he will realize your need to find out about his whereabouts, and should make an effort to keep your fears at bay.

Evaluate your feelings for your husband on a periodic basis after the affair

Learning how to survive the affair is an emotional journey and one can only overcome the feeling of resentment and bitterness bit by bit. Evaluating your feelings for your husband on a periodic basis lets you know whether your healing process is on the right track. If you are both maintaining an open communication and putting the required effort into the relationship, the truth will eventually creep back into the relationship and you will likely share a stronger bond with your husband than you did before.

Many women are overwhelmed and at a loss on how to survive the affair. They may still love their husbands but feel unable to trust him again. If enough time has passed and you are unable to rebuild your relationship, consider the possibility of getting help from a professional and undergo counseling. If counselling is not an option consider online resources or your local library. There are many resources which you can find which will outline the steps needed to rebuild your marriage.

Keep in mind, reading articles and searching for answers on how to survive an affair is only the first step. Taking action on what you have come to learn is what will ultimately save your marriage and rebuild the trust. I hope these tips will help you begin your journey toward healing yourself and your marriage.



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