Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Marriage and Infidelity - Getting Help Now Can Mean A Brighter Future For Both Of You



Marriage is suppose to be happily ever after. But that only happens in fairy tales. In the real world we have to deal with marriage and infidelity.

Don't write off your marriage because a spouse has cheated. It isn't the time to make your future decision because your partner made a big mistake. Looking at what is happening and what needs to be worked through, can mean the difference between divorce and rebuilding.

Without a doubt having this dropped on your lap will make you an emotional mess. That is normal. You never expected this to happen after so many years of marriage. Marriage and infidelity are for other couples. You may be surprised to know that with many couples, surviving an affair is possible.

This is a time when your are hurt and devastated. Don't make any choices now. Take the time to heal yourself first. Then you can work at rebuilding the trust in your partner. Something this important will not change over night. But with some help and some direction you can move forward.

This may be a great time to keep a journal. Writing down your feelings is a good way to deal with them. You cannot start to make positive steps without facing your emotions. A good way to do this is see them written down. This makes them physical. That means you know they are real. What is real has to be handled.

Almost every victim of marriage and infidelity has images in their head. These are so damaging to your ego. You will have to take time to work through them. With this being said, you cannot allow them to take over. So set time to go to a quiet place and have the small pity party. Then move on. It sounds easy but you may need some professional help to do it. Those images are a true part of the emotions everyone has.

If you are the victim of marriage and infidelity don't feel alone. So many others have gone through this. Many didn't have a clue that their spouse was cheating on them. They just felt the marriage was getting very comfortable. Many had been married over ten years.

Yes even after ten or more years of marriage, problems come in. When children need attention and aging parents require care, couples need to communicate even more. Don't allow yourself to take the marriage for granted. This allows couples to get bored. Marriage and infidelity can be the time to rebuild a stronger foundation.



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