Rebuilding Relationship Trust - 6 Keys To Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship After An Affair

Along with love and respect trust is one of the key foundations to a long term relationship. When an affair happens all three are compromised and unfortunately can sometimes be lost forever to a divorce. Trust is built on levels of honesty and integrity; both of which will be violated by an affair. Lies become a necessity to maintain the deceit. To a cheater lying is essential, it has to be, so that they can maintain the secrecy of their affair. To the injured party the lies can be a first clue that something is not right in their relationship. Even before a cheater comes clean the lies will undermine their legitimate relationship and cast a long shadow of doubt on the road to recovery. Rebuilding the trust in your relationship after an affair is essential if you want to save your marriage.

The 6 Keys To Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship:

Caring. When words aren't good enough show your partner you care. Be open and let your partner know what's going on in your world, also ask about theirs. Be willing to answer questions about where you've been and who you've seen. Let your spouse see that you consider their feelings and are making every effort to be honest and transparent.

Attention. Giving positive attention to your partner and relationship will show that your intentions are sincere and that you are working at it. Listen closely when your partner wants to talk or share feelings. Be attentive to their needs in the moment. Recognize and celebrate their achievements however small. Simple actions like helping to bring in the groceries can communicate attention and awareness to your partners needs.

Reassurance. Your spouse will be skeptical about your intentions and will probably require regular reassurance that you are indeed committed to rebuilding the relationship. You can tell them, often, that you are sorry and are willing to do what it takes to regain their trust. When away from home take your cell phone and make sure to always answer when your spouse calls. Or better yet call them even if it was not asked of you.

Effort. Show it everyday in any way you can. Really let your spouse know that your relationship means as much to you as it does to them and that you are making every effort to regain their trust. This could even mean changes in your lifestyle; maybe now isn't the time to complain about not being able to get away with friends for the long weekend trip you had planned without your spouse.

Support. Many of us sealed our union with vows stating something to the effect that we will support our spouses' in sickness and in health, good times and bad. This is most likely a bad time for you and even more so for your spouse who you cheated on. Mutual support is essential over the long term to make a marriage work. Right now you may not be getting any because you did wrong. It is essential that you support your spouse, let them know you are on and at their side.

Stability. Most of us need it so we don't go crazy. Your partner needs to know they can count on you day in day out. By having an affair you have cast serious doubts for your partner as to how much they can depend on you. Will you do it again? Will you leave them next time? What else are you hiding? This mental chaos will disturb all areas of their life. Create and abide by new routines that work for both of you like making a point to eat dinner together each night or going for walks on the weekend. Set a goal to attend an event then go. Be there as a partner. If for whatever reason you have to break a regular routine be sure to tell your spouse as soon as you find out, then reassure them that the routine will resume thereafter. You may never regain the trust you had enjoyed before the affair but if you have an honest intent to make your relationship work you can start by following these 6 keys to rebuilding trust after an affair.