Taking Back the Power in Your Relationship After Being Betrayed By Your Partner

Are you giving away all the power in your relationship even though it was your partner who cheated on you? Let me share with you a story and use it to explain to you how you can take back the power in your relationship.

Well, a few years back, a close friend found out that his wife was cheating on him. The affair has been going on for years and my friend was shocked at the news. The most surprising thing happened next. Instead of feeling remorseful and sorry about cheating, my buddy's wife announced that she was moving out - in hope to save their marriage by figuring out what to do next.

While separated, my buddy's wife maintained contact with her lover.

At this point, even as a bystander, I wasn't able to tolerate the situation my friend was in. Every time we meet up at the bar for drinks, he'll update me on how his wife hasn't been calling or they haven't talked about moving in with each other. After listening to him, it struck me that my friend has given up the power in his relationship.

So here's what I said to him (It helped him convince his wife to move back and leave her lover):

1. The outcome of your marriage has to be determined as a couple. Whether you are in a state of shock or feeling betrayed after finding out about the affair you need to determine a plan, as a couple, to save your marriage.


2. You have to maintain contact with your wife during this period of separation. No contact is for couples to get over each other after a break up. As husband and wife, the both of you have to communicate your problems with each other and establish if progress is made during separation.


3. You have to set clear boundaries during this period of separation. If your wife is sincere about saving your marriage, then you need to make it clear to her that she cannot keep in contact with her lover anymore. This isn't done to restrict her freedom but done so that she can focus on salvaging your marriage.


4. With that said, you have to come to a compromise with her about things. Taking or giving all the power to one party in a relationship can lead to problems because that party inevitably ends up outside the marriage saving process - missing their chance to process their feelings and heal.


5. When saving your marriage, it better to work as a team than doing it alone. You need to recognize that your power in your marriage is being taken away from you. You have to take it back.

As a result, my friend managed to get his wife to move back with him. Although the initial months weren't that smooth, they eventually worked things out.