After The Affair, Now What?

After the affair has been public what should you do. Your spouse cheated and now you have to deal with it.

You never thought it would happen to you. Your marriage seemed fine. Sure you have been busy with other things but you never expected this. You are an emotional mess. You can't think. All you see is him in bed with her.

With so many years of marriage you hate to have it all gone because of this. After the affair is the time to search the relationship. Decide what needs to happen but not in haste.

If you are dealing with a spouse who had an affair, you need time. Right now you must deal with it. But the important thing is to avoid making any life changing decisions quickly. This is a devastating time. You need to take inventory of what you have been handed.

Hearing of an affair is a major obstacle. For many it means dealing with the effects of families. If you have children you have even more reasons to think this through. Your decisions effect more than just the two of you.

The first thing that needs to be dealt with is healing yourself. You want to make sure that you go through this and work through it. Having something as emotional as a cheating spouse can cause a lot of mixed feelings.

There are millions of couples who deal with this. Unfortunately that doesn't make this any easier for you. But knowing how others feel and knowing that you are not alone can give you some emotional stability. Regardless of what has happened you must take care of yourself first.

The only way to move forward effectively is facing the fears you have. Many couples who have been married ten or more years will deal with this. It isn't something that young people are the only candidates. Don't feel that you are alone.

Getting some type of help is almost a necessity. Yes, there are numerous things to take into consideration. You can't do something right now. If you just heard about this, you are in an emotional rage. Step back and take time to just soak it in.

Dr. Frank Gunzburg has helped many couples with marriage problems. He believes that you should first help yourself heal. You are no good when you can't think properly. That means that you have to do what is best for you. We have all heard that if you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of others.

Many couples have survived after the affair. You can't ignore it, because it won't go away. It is something that can build or break your marriage. Get some type of help. Don't do this alone.