Thursday, April 14, 2011

Discover How To Survive Infidelity and Face Your Trust Issues



Infidelity in marriage can range from talking/chatting privately to having a physical relationship with someone else. It depends on the cultural norms of marriage that your society and, most importantly, you accept. If your partner has been unfaithful, your trust is likely to have shatter into pieces. You feel betrayed, heartbroken, angry and confused. You may not feel like talking to your partner at all. In order to survive infidelity issues in your marriage, you need to confront your partner the right way.

Here are three secret steps by which, the disloyal and the betrayed can use to save their marriage and rebuild their trust.

The Betrayed

1. Talk. Yes, pour out the agony or else you will suffocate. You must talk to someone you trust. Someone who cares about both of you and will not take sides and will give you sound advice. You may choose to talk to a counselor or seek online resources.

2. Give it time. Do not make hasty decisions like the ones we see in the movies - a slap, some foul words and bye-bye forever you filthy two-timer! This is the real world. Give your emotions as well as your guilty partner's emotions some time. Time to think and reflect on the cause of the infidelity and to judge if you can continue this relationship in spite of all the betrayal.

3. Appoint a marriage counselor or other resources to help heal and forgive. A therapist can best assist you to overcome this harsh situation, unleash the hidden causes of the affair and can even help you build the relationship together into a much stronger one. When you find that your partner truly regrets the mistake and is dedicated to gain your trust, it is best to forgive and survive infidelity.

The Disloyal

1. Stop seeing the other man/woman. At once! End all sorts of communication with him/her immediately if you have any desire to save your marriage and gain back the trust you once had.

2. Apologize. You have deeply hurt and betrayed your partners love and trust. Just think how you would feel had your partner cheated on you. Asking for forgiveness and also explain to your partner why you felt the need for intimacy outside the marriage is a good start. While doing so, you must not blame your partner or make excuses. Appointing a marriage counselor with the consent of your partner and start the journey to recovery of faith and fidelity.

3. Make up for the hard time you have given your spouse. This is the most important step and can be your key to survive infidelity. Love, reconnect, share and soothe your partner. Take him/her on dates, remind him/her of the good times and express your love. Be patient as your partner is still hurt and is bound to be stubborn and unforgiving. If you are determined and committed enough, you can and will win the trust back.



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