Marriage After Infidelity - Trusting Him After He Lied

Once you have caught your husband cheating, it feels as though it will be impossible to ever trust him again. In the initial days or weeks after the discovery, betrayal, devastation and an enormous sense of loss are all too real. But with time, the anger and other feelings do subside. You can then start to reflect on the past and your relationship, and consider the options of how to save your marriage after infidelity.

There are many reasons why you might choose to stay in your marriage even after you discover that your husband has cheated. One of the strongest motivations for doing so is because you still love him. Keep in mind, if there was no love within the marriage, the infidelity wouldn't bother you. The degree of your anger and upset is often an indication of how deeply you care. Even in this situation, trusting your husband again may be the biggest hurdle that you need to overcome.

Resolve underlying issues

Try to understand why your husband felt the need to have an affair. Unless these issues come out in the open and are resolved, the problem is likely to persist. Many couples prefer to ignore these issues and try to move on in the relationship thinking that everything will automatically become normal. They do not realize that talking about the affair may prove to be a healing process for both partners and essential if they want to save their marriage after infidelity.

Increase communication skills

If your husband is still hiding the details of the affair with you then it is difficult to start the process of rebuilding the trust again. Good communication skills build a strong foundation and are an essential ingredient of a trusting relationship. You have to let your husband know about your need to settle these issues before you can move on in your marriage after infidelity.

Let go of doubt

If you have any doubts you need to discuss it with your husband. At this juncture the worst thing you can do is to keep harboring thoughts and images about the affair and mistrusting your husband at every step. If you have made the decision to make your marriage work then you need to give it your best and keep a positive attitude.

Make a renewed effort in the relationship

Many husbands are so remorseful after their affair that they put in an extra effort to make it right afterwards. If this is the case with you, then try to be receptive to his efforts and also reciprocate his feelings in rebuilding the relationship.

It will take a while to restore your marriage after infidelity. You have to accept this and give yourself some time to start trusting him again. Many couples have walked this path and if you're finding it a difficult journey, know there are plenty of online resources, support groups and marriage counselors which can help clarify the steps needed to rebuild a happy strong marriage.