Questions to Ask Yourself As the Victim of Cheating

Marriage is supposed to be a secure, closed relationship between you and your significant other. So what do you do if you discover that your spouse has been unfaithful? This will be one of the most important decisions of your life, so don't make it lightly. Think hard and answer the following questions as honestly and realistically as you can.

Has lying and cheating been a major part of your relationship issues for some time or is this a new and potentially temporary problem? Are you positive that your partner is serious about their promises to change, or do you think this is likely to happen again if you stay? This will not be easy, so you both have to be completely committed to fixing your marriage. Don't lie to yourself about the extent of your marital problems. At some point, once your partner has exhibited a long history of cheating, hoping for a miracle is unrealistic. In such a situation the only wise thing to do is to cut your losses, realize the cheating was not your fault, and move on with your life. Second chances are a privilege, not a right, so do not feel compelled to give one to a person you know will never change. If you are going to stay with your spouse then it is key that they be ready to accept full responsibility for their inappropriate behavior and admit that they were wrong. No one can change what they do not acknowledge.

Is your partner actually sorry they cheated or merely sorry that you found out what was going on? Getting married means being mature enough to recognize that life is not always all about you and what feels good for you in the moment. If you want your partner to think of your needs, then you must return the favor. Cheating can only be classified as selfish. A partner who has cheated has to understand that, or else they should not be given a second chance. They cannot be truly sorry unless they understand and accept how bad their behavior has been. There is a difference between being sorry for getting caught and actually being sorry for cheating.

Finally, if the worst were to occur and your partner put you through this ordeal all over again after you gave them a second chance, would you be able to contend with the pain? Do you think you could eventually be okay or would you be emotionally damaged for life? Avoid landing yourself in an emotional rut that you will never be able to get out of. It is not your fault if your spouse is incapable of change. Whatever choice you settle on, you need to be certain you will not be too frightened of betrayal to enjoy future intimacy.