Infidelity - What Now?

Infidelity is one of the most destructive forces in marriages today. It may seem nearly impossible to deal with the decisions now pressing on your mind while wild emotions are clouding your judgment. Your life may have been turned upside down so suddenly that you can't even comprehend what is going on. As difficult as it is to see past your emotions right now, it is essential to bring the power of logic and rational thought to bear on the major decisions you are about to make.

First of all, do not try to make sense out of the infidelity. Your spouse is responsible for their own actions. You did not do anything that caused them to cheat on you. Nobody is perfect, but nobody deserves to be cheated on. Even if you have created issues in your marriage, your partner was wrong to react to them by looking outside the marriage for comfort.

Time will help but will never erase the past. You can't expect this to go away if you just pretend it never happened. You have to address the issue and insist that your spouse change. If your spouse wants back into the marriage, they must earn it. Things will be rough for a while as you redefine the structure of your relationship. Infidelity is a huge breach of trust that is not easily overcome. They owe you their patience and understanding in this matter. You also have to understand that although you can not trust your partner now, in the future, you will need to find a way to trust them again. Moving forward with life and love is absolutely vital for you. You have to be willing to trust again, but take things one step at a time.

Staying will be bad for everyone involved if you are never going to even consider forgiving your spouse. But be careful not to pull back from hope and optimism.

Sometimes you can try your best to fix things and still fail. If this happens then accept that your relationship has come to an end and move on as maturely as possible. It is unhealthy to stay together just for the children. They will be better off with one stable parent than two unstable ones. Take this into account carefully. Think of the damage that can be done to a child that grows up in a dysfunctional household.