What Is Cheating? - A Clear Definition Of Cheating For Those Who Don't Really Know

In North America our culture usually defines cheating as partaking in secret sex whilst one or both parties are in a committed relationship with another person. For the most part that is right, however, it doesn't cover other actions which violate the emotional bond of trust that two people create when getting married or committing to a long term common law relationship.

In consulting a dictionary you will find that the definition of cheating is "marital infidelity" or "to be sexually unfaithful". Both of these definitions are correct but can be somewhat broad in interpretation.

There are other factors or situations that constitute cheating as much as having illicit sex. If you are really, truly, unsure that what you are doing with another person, who is not your spouse, is cheating or not then just ask yourself if you would tell your spouse about the encounter when you get home.

But we only talked:

A person having an emotional affair wouldn't necessarily see themselves as being unfaithful and if accused of having an affair would most likely deny it claiming 'we only ever talked'. However 'just talking' can be as much a betrayal to your spouse as if you had sex with the other person. It all depends on what you're talking about. Sharing the secrets of your soul or your hopes, dreams, ambitions or fears with someone other than your spouse is an emotional betrayal. Intimacy isn't only physical.

It wasn't really sex:

Denying that you've had sex because there wasn't penetration just won't work. Touching, petting, stimulating with hands or mouth is all sex. Even though there may not be happy endings every time it is still sex. Even holding another person intimately for longer than a hug or holding hands is wrong.

I've never even met him/her:

Okay, so maybe, technically you've never met in person that still won't get you off the hook. Engaging in self pleasure while your on the phone or worse on a computer using video is still cheating. You are getting your thrills outside of your relationship.

The bottom line, the one you shouldn't be crossing, is that the cheater is always wrong. If your relationship is so awful or cold or distant then address that with your spouse. Some relationships are definitely not right for the people involved, for any number of reasons. If that is the case in your relationship then you need to talk about it, bringing a third person into the mix will not help in any way; unless the third person is a counselor.

So what is cheating? Cheating is when you engage in a relationship, with someone other than your spouse, that is intimate either emotionally or physically or both. If there's a 'special' someone in your life and you are reluctant to share your feelings about them to your spouse then chances are you are having an affair, or maybe just heading that way.