What Is an Emotional Affair?

Being unfaithful does not just entail a sexual encounter with another person, it starts much earlier. This article will look at the definition of an emotional affair.

Definition

An emotional affair does not include physical intimacy but, as the name says, it includes emotional intimacy. It can be that you share your most intimate thoughts and feelings with someone because you miss emotional intimacy with your primary partner. This connection can be as intimate and consuming as a physical affair with the only difference that there is no physical part in this.

This kind of affair can happen via correspondence on the phone, Internet, letters or email. This means that you don't even have to meet; however some people obviously do.

Is it cheating?

Because the traditional definition of cheating usually is seen as 'having sex' with someone else, some people hide behind saying 'we never had sex so I was faithful'. This is not the truth. Cheating has been reclassified to include an emotional affair as cheating.

Why is it harmful?

Any form of cheating will harm the primary relationship, even though it might be 'successfully' kept a secret. The reason being that the unfaithful spouse is spending more energy and emotional attention, in thought, emotion and action to someone other than their partner.

Often the cheated partner can tell something is going on and will feel tormented without knowing the details.

In fact, if the primary relationship follows a traditional monogamous commitment to each other, they remove themselves from the commitment they made in the first place.

Where does it lead?

Any relationship starts out as an emotional affair: we get to know each other, share personal information, thoughts and emotions and start to feel we can trust the other person. The intimate nature of this communication is what creates the connection and often, but not always, leads to a physical affair.

In many cases an emotional affair is more dangerous for a marriage because you create a connection that is based much deeper than just a physical connection. It is based in your heart and soul, the part that longs to be understood and engaged.

Difference between friendship and emotional affair

Friendships do enrich our lives and we are naturally drawn to people that we can connect with on many different levels. If you have a friend of the opposite sex and you don't want to share them with your spouse it is more likely to be an emotional affair than a friendship. If you spend considerable amount, apart from the times you spend as friends, thinking about them, communicating (via text, email, phone etc) with them, it is an emotional affair.

Don't treat this subject lightly. Emotional affairs are just as likely to lead to separation and divorce as physical affairs do.