Your Husband Cheated On You And Now You Want To Know Why

When you discover that your husband has had an affair, you feel like your world has fallen apart. You battle feelings of betrayal, despair and anger. Right now you're an emotional wreck but you can't get one question out of your head: why did he cheat on you? Why would he risk destroying your marriage by doing something so selfish and stupid?

You certainly deserve answers to your questions but if you just found out about the affair, you need to take care of yourself first. If you have any desire to save your marriage, give yourself a chance to get your emotions under control and recover from the shock you have just experienced. You don't want to destroy any hope of repairing your relationship by trying to discuss the problem before you have control of your anger. I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve a piece of your mind but to make meaningful progress on saving your marriage you need to be able to control your emotions when you attempt to reconcile.

When you feel calm enough to start discussing solutions to rebuild your marriage, you will obviously want some explanation from him for why he cheated on you. What is really frustrating is that many cheaters can't point to a specific reason why they cheated. Some when faced with blatant temptation just don't seem to think about how serious the consequences could be.

There is never any good reason that makes cheating acceptable but many will eventually try to defend their actions by claiming their "needs" were not being satisfied within the marriage. Many cheaters try to convince themselves that they can solve their marital problems by having an affair.

In many cases the cheater can't point to a specific reason for the affair or they claim their needs were being neglected. Sometimes seeking too much detail about the affair can cause you more harm than good so be cautious about how much information you demand. Whatever the situation, you can't change what has happened in the past.

The most helpful step now is to start communicating with each other about the needs you each have and determine how you can satisfy those needs within your marriage. You need to be open with each other regarding your needs so that you feel appreciated and not taken for granted. These needs may be simple, like help with the garden or a meal out every once in a while but they can help bring you closer. Knowing that you have the support of your spouse can go a long way to rebuilding your emotional bond.

After an affair, it is understandable that you will feel hurt and betrayed for some time and it may take longer to rebuild your romantic bond. As a victim of infidelity, your romantic feelings may be fragile for some time but if you both are sincere about rebuilding your emotional bonds, those feelings should also heal.

Surviving an affair is never pleasant but if you both are patient and open with each other, it can be done. Some couples even state that their marriage is happier and stronger after opening up to each other and reconciling after an affair. Plus there is help available if you need guidance or counseling in working through some of the problems you may have to deal with.