Sunday, April 17, 2011

3 Key Attitudes of Men Who Cheat on Their Girlfriends



Like all those who are part of a couple (or who want to be part of one), fidelity between you and your partner is one of the building blocks of your relationship. The more you trust your man the more secure you feel in the relationship and the more you open yourself to him and the more you are able to give and connect with your man. But infidelity seems to be so rampant amongst us. In trying to understand why man cheat on their girlfriends let's look at some attitudes of men who cheat.

1. I can cheat and get away with it. One attitude of men who cheat is a belief that you will either not notice that he is cheating or if you do find out you will not really care about it. Men who have this attitude are of two types. Type 1 men are very good at hiding their indiscretions so that your suspicions are not easily aroused. They are sly and sneaky and you will be hard pressed to discover their cheating ways. Type 2 men believe that your personality and the hold that they have over you will prevent you from doing anything drastic like leaving them. They are less discrete in their cheating since they know you will never leave them.

Men with this attitude truly believe that there are no consequences to their cheating. Their underlying belief is that they will get away with it.

2. My cheating isn't that bad. A key attitude among certain men who cheat is a belief that his cheating is a minor offence compared to all the really terrible things other men are doing. He knows that what he is doing is wrong but he considers it to be a minor offense. He weighs his deeds on a scale and since he does a lot of good things (in his eyes) for you then his good deeds far outweigh his 'small' cheating. And he rationalizes 'who actually gets hurt when two consenting adults have an affair?' ... 'she had a good time and so did I so what's the big deal?" Men with this attitude give themselves permission to cheat on their girlfriends.

3. I am not fully responsible for my actions and reactions. Men with this attitude blame others for their behavior. It's not really his fault that he cheats; she came on to him or he was drunk when it happened etc. He is a master at apportioning blame to other people and he will get you believing that he was an innocent bystander in the whole 'cheating situation'. He shifts blame so as to minimize his responsibility and since he is not really responsible can you even blame him? It's really not his fault; people and circumstances conspired against him and 'caused' him to be unfaithful to you. It wasn't his fault somebody else made him do what he did.

If you can identify the attitude of your cheating man then you can make an informed decision on what you should do so as to get beyond the hurt caused by his cheating. Since each attitude will have a different remedy.



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