Monday, April 18, 2011

Getting Rid of The Negative Thoughts After The Affair



Getting rid of the negative thoughts can seem like an impossible task in the aftermath of an affair. Your spouse's actions have created a lot of harsh feelings about yourself and your marriage. The barrage of negative images that plague your mind of your spouse with someone else leaves you feeling numb. Your thoughts not only torment your every waking hour but, they remain in control of your mind even when you sleep. They have you doubting yourself and whether you can ever believe in anything or anyone again. Within yourself, you know it is not the end of the world, but it sure, as heck, feels like it.

Your spouse's actions have placed you in a world of torment and pain. Yet, despite the pain you're in, you can't stay locked up in that world of misery. You must find a way to relieve yourself from the pain and stress, before the torment, you now feel begins to wreak havoc on your mental and physical health.

Your mind holds great power over you. The thoughts you house with in it, determine your actions, how you face adversity, and your feelings of how you view yourself. Your mind is the one piece of "real estate" that you, alone, own. You have control of what enters it, and the results of what comes out of it. How you think can either move you past this point in your life or keep you in your present state of pain, stress and misery. Your thoughts determine whether you give in to the negativity that now impacts your life or you make the effort to overcome it. There is life after the affair, and you must be able to move past those thoughts, that prevent you from seeing the positive aspects of your life and the happiness that lies ahead of you.

Getting rid of negative thoughts, brought on by infidelity, is never easy. Emotional wounds always run deep and are not so easily healed. Healing the wounds that have been inflicted by infidelity takes time and a great deal of effort from you, but you must be able to "come to terms" with yourself and what has happened, if you plan to save your marriage, You must take the first step to heal yourself before you can begin the process of rebuilding your marriage. The responsibility of your spouse's actions is not your burden to bear. Your responsibility lies in your mental and physical well-being and working to save your marriage. You can not control your spouse's actions, but you can control how you think.

Here are some ways of getting rid of negative thoughts:

1. When negative thoughts and images start to invade your mind, move them aside by replacing them with positive images about yourself. Think about the times and events in your life that made you happy and feel good about yourself.

2. Surround yourself with activities and things to do, that require you to give full time and attention to getting them done. Find activities that you enjoy. Boost your spirits by having fun and allow the people you used to have fun with, back into your life. Negative thoughts have no place to grow when your mind becomes occupied with the things that make you happy.

3. Instill the belief in yourself that you hold the power over your thoughts. Speak your power over your thoughts into existence by telling yourself every minute of the day "I have the power to control how I think", post notes to yourself as reinforcement, that you own the territory of your mind and no thoughts are allowed to enter it, that will prevent you from thinking good about yourself and pursuing your happiness.

Only you can take back the power from those negative thoughts, by changing how you think. Each step you take to control your thoughts, makes your next step towards recovery easier. Getting rid of those negative thoughts puts you back in control of your life and allows you to move into the process of healing and find happiness in your life, now and in the future - only then can you begin the work that is necessary for saving your marriage.



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