You Were Caught Cheating On Your Partner, Now What?

So you cheated on your partner, and now they know. What comes next? You have done something entirely unacceptable and now it is time to put your spouse's needs first while still coping with your own emotions. Be sure your thoughts and feelings are clear in your own mind before you try to explain them as this is the best way to give your relationship a fighting chance. Acknowledge the severity of your mistake and don't offer shallow or insincere apologies.

If you are going to try to repair your relationship then it is absolutely essential that you are ready to work hard and do whatever it takes. If you no longer want to be in a relationship with your partner then you owe them your honesty. But think carefully about this, because infidelity is not always a sign that your relationship is over. Are you prepared to turn over a new leaf and commit all your affection to the one you promised to love and care for? Be honest with yourself and your spouse about the reasons why you cheated, then begin the process of moving on. What's done is done, and the only thing that can be done now is to help each other move forward.

At this point, many people feel very guilty about their actions. While desperately trying to earn the forgiveness of your partner, don't underestimate the importance of coming to forgive yourself. Once you can forgive yourself, you open the gates to allow forgiveness from your spouse. Plus, how does holding onto guilt help your situation?

Only time will tell if you partner will be able to place their trust in you once again. You have to accept that. If you wanted trust in the relationship, you should have made different choices in the past. Expect that your partner is going to worry about where you are going and what you are doing each day, and respond to their questions honestly and without hesitation. Things will get better over time, but you will have to accept that they may never view you in quite the same way they used to. Starting a fight will only serve to make them worry more. Offering to attend couple's counseling may help them to find emotional closure. Do whatever it takes to minimize their worrying, no matter how inconvenient you may find it to be. It will require you being where you're supposed to be, when you're supposed to be there, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, until your spouse can trust you again.

Allowing your spouse to keep tabs on your every move may not be a pleasant practice, but it is a sacrifice you will have to make. If you want a good partner, be a good partner. Acknowledge that the integrity of your marriage is a much greater reward than any temporary pleasure you might glean from risky behavior and act accordingly.