Surviving The Affair - Is Your Marriage Really Over Or Can You Save It?

It started out perfect. You laughed together; you loved together, had a very special connection, and supported each other through the good and bad times. But not long ago, you discovered the heart aching truth that your husband has been unfaithful. Finding out about an infidelity turns your life and everything you believed in upside down. Surviving the affair then all but consumes every second of your day. So the questions remains, is it really the end of your marriage or can you save the relationship?

With the onslaught of feelings, every woman's first instinct is to end the marriage. However, this may not always be the best option. Unless your spouse is still seeing the other woman, surviving the affair is often the choice made once the initial feelings have simmered down. It is wise to take time in making such a life-changing decision. Don't feel you have to rush into deciding what you should do.

I would suggest you talk to someone who would be unbiased about your marriage and the relationship. Someone who cares about you, has had some experience regarding this issue, and would stand by you no matter what decision you make. If you talk to a family member, they may hold harsh feeling towards your spouse - even if he is sorry, accepted his mistake and wants to make things better.

Regardless of who you share your doubts, fears, tears and anger with, only you and your partner can decide whether your marriage should be put to an end or saved.

Surviving the affair is very brave decision. It could take you some time to finally overcome the betrayal, but if your husband is remorseful and you both still have underlying feelings for each other, it is definitely worth a try.

A few things to consider when choosing to survive the affair and save the marriage are;

1. Is your spouse ready to work things out? If so, how devoted is he to get your trust back?

2. Is the affair really over?

3. Have you received a genuine apology?

4. Have you discussed the details of the affair and your marriage with your partner?

5. Is the emotional pain that you will have in the course of surviving the affair worth it?

6. How would your decision affect the life of your children (if you have any)?

As you spend time with each question, the status, or the future status of your marriage will become more clear.

There are many couples who have rebuilt their marriage and achieved an even stronger relationship than prior to the affair. Yes, you may not believe this last statement right now, but it's true. The first step is making the choice to survive the affair and not give up on your marriage.

To be successful, both you and your husband must commit to getting through this. There are plenty of marriage healing programs available which are very helpful and will provide both of you a lead on how to survive the affair and reach the "happily married" state once again.