Why Men Have Affairs - It's Not Why You Might Think

So why do men have affairs? Because she is prettier, younger or more sexy than you? Wrong!

Okay, the other woman may well be one or more of the above, but that is not usually the primary reason why men have affairs. Some of the most common reasons are:

1. More sex and/or Sexual addiction sometimes due to lack of sex in their relationship


2. Sexual variety through different sexual experiences or partners


3. To feel special or remain attractive to females or boost their ego


4. Simply the thrill of the chase


5. Opportunistic sex (if the opportunity occurs, they can't say no)


6. To destroy their current relationship


7. As a means of Revenge


8. In Order To escape

However, take away the serial cheaters, those that have extremely high addictions to sex and the thrill seekers, the ones who just can't say no and the opportunists. Let's face it if your man falls into one of these categories, you could be better off without him, and you are left with the average man. The one who had no intention of having an affair, but did. Probably, the man not too dissimilar to your man. Contrary to popular belief among women, men do not think with their sexual anatomy. Men, just like women, are driven by emotions, though somewhat to a lesser extent than the fairer sex.

The main reason why men have affairs is emotional dissatisfaction within their current relationship. Nearly half of all men who cheat give this as the primary reason why. Sexual dissatisfaction accounts for less than 10% of reasons for their infidelity.

What's the number one reason why men cheat?

The vast majority of men state an emotional disconnection from their partners, more specifically a feeling of being under-appreciated. Men are extremely emotional beings. Just because they won't tell you, or they are reluctant to show you or even the fact they don't appear to be emotional doesn't mean they are not emotionally driven. Men tend not to show their emotions for significant reasons. It makes them appear less of a man in your eyes, weak and un-masculine. When men appear weak, they become less attractive to the opposite sex.

Men strive to get things right and all they really want is for you to understand how hard they are trying and to be shown, that they are appreciated. He won't ask for praise, it's simply not in his nature, but his emotional make-up craves this. Just because he doesn't ask doesn't mean it should be overlooked. If it is, he can become insecure either through a lack of appreciation of his efforts or by an undermining of his achievements. It is this insecurity, stemming from lack of appreciation that is a major contributory factor why men have affairs. Most men are naturally "Winners". Take a look at any sporting or competitive event in which your man is involved as a spectator. The more the chance of winning reduces the less interested he becomes - even to the point where he gives up. He may even support the opposition as an escape for his frustration! His relationship with you is not that dissimilar. He wants to be seen as a winner in your eyes. He wants to be valued, admired. He simply wants and needs you to recognise him as "Your Man", like you did when you first met.

This is not the sole contributing factor to why men have affairs, nor is it always the woman's fault. There can be many reasons or emotional triggers that cause men to cheat. It is, however, the most common reason. When a man cheats with another woman, she has no idea of his shortcomings or failings. She merely sees him as an object of her desire. She will admire him from the outset with no preconceived ideas. This is a major draw to a man unappreciated by his partner. The vast majority of affairs start in the workplace where the man is in a managerial or supervisory role. This signifies to many female employees, looking for romance or to relieve the boredom of their own lives, that this man is successful. She will be drawn by the fact he is in a position of power and will show him she admires him.

As you can see, when the question is asked, why do men have affairs? -- it matters very little to the man whether she is prettier, younger or sexier than you -- what does matter, is that he is seeking from her, what he is missing from you, to be admired.

If this situation is affecting you or your relationship, and you want to know how to repair the damage or prevent it from happening again or If your relationship has ended because of infidelity and you are considering trying to rekindle the romance - all is not lost, it doesn't mean it's over, unless you want it to be! Read the following article Why Men Have Affairs - Save Your Relationship, goes into a little more detail about specific actions you can take.